A new perspective

I am reading a book right now called "The Holy Wild" by Mark Buchanan

Talk about having the right book at the right time! Jeff, my husband, read it and told me I should read it. (I am into Christian fiction - not theological books) Anyway, I started reading it after I became un-employed unexpectedly. Starting to fall into depression because I cannot find a job - I turned to reading to get my mind off of the struggles.

God has used this book to speak to my heart. . .He has given me a perspective I have never had. I have trusted Him throughout my life - but I always relied on my ability to get a job and all the computer experience I have and love for graphic design. Of course always giving Him the glory for each job I got - while secretly giving myself praise for my abilities. (pride is such an ugly thing) I know He is using this time for me to totaly rely on Him! To let go of the pride I harbor.

Yesterday's reading was a contrast of Isaiah & John's Heaven visions. The Seraphim shouting constantly "HOLY, HOLY, HOLY is the Lord God Almighty" - I have read those verses a lot of times and never have I become 'undone' as Isaiah & John were . . . until yesterday. . .

I am a woman if unclean heart! I could not speak only cry at the words and the realization of WHO HE IS! In Isaiah's vision they had their eyes covered but in John's vision they were 'covered with eyes' eyes that were open and looking - the difference? In the midst of them stood the Lamb that was slain! I could not look upon Him if I had been there - until the coal from the altar was touched to my heart and cleansing took place! I was undone!

Thank you Father for Your patience, Your prodding, Your unwillingness to let me wallow in my greif, but You 'etch' character into my heart with each trial and season of my life that is hard & painful.

If only we could grasp that pain equals growth. We may not fight it as much.